Attraction Physique
by I Love Snuffles
Summary: something happens, and Sirius gets turned into a gurl! 0o;; can he get changed back? Who dunnit?
1. It Begins

A/N: absolutely no relation to my other fic, which I haven't posted yet and probably won't ever post period. But weather I post it or not, this was inspired by a fic called "Blue Tears" and I highly recommend it! You can find it in my favorite stories section, and if you've got a brain, you'll read it! You'll also read this, but I don't require a review, so to heck with it.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own 'nothin!  
  
Summary: something happens, and Sirius gets turned into a girl! 0_o;; can he get changed back? Who dunnit?  
  
WARNINGS: I like to torture my favorite characters. Thus, as I am certain you can perceive from my summary, my favorite character is to be tortured beyond all belief. *cough* right, back to things that may make the homophobic queasy-stomached teensy-brained prat go bananas. I don't think this falls under the category of yaoi, but then, some people think that tom- boys w/ black mascara and skater boys that don't take showers are homosexual when they're obviously opposite genders, so I might as well warn you ppl like that out there. Then there's always the romance part, if ya don't like fluffiness that's so fluffy filled with fluffety fluff fluffy thus fluff, then beat it. If you don't like the idea of a guy going down the road of a gurl, then get off my property. *evil grin* if you don't like AU, then go away; and finally, I thought I might tell you that I'm switching the turning-to-animals-in-fifth-year thing into first year, or second. Okay? Okay!  
  
NOTES: I'm not really going to give Big Boy Details on HOW our poor Hero managed to get in this... dilemma.  
  
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No student had perhaps seen any teacher angrier. With the exception of Filch, of course, watching McGonagall flare up like that was terrifying.  
  
Not to mention the fact that she was so angry so couldn't manage anything more than a sputtering roar every now and then. Her imitation of a violently violet fish really was pretty good.  
  
However, currently only one student and the headmaster of the school were baring witness to this... amazing display.  
  
Though Dumbledore kept (mostly) great outer calmness and neutrality, it was obvious that as what McGonagall was trying to say slowly started to make sense, he was beginning to get irked.  
  
Eventually, he told the transfiguration teacher to calm down, have a seat, and a drink, then turned toward the student. Who was curled up hiding his face and body by sitting on a chair in a ball of black robes.  
  
"Let me see, now," Dumbledore said calmly.  
  
Slowly, the student forced himself to stand up straight. Despite appearances, he hadn't been crying; only in a lost sense of shock. In other words, this student hadn't come out of denial for the past three and a half hours (which were spent listening to a sputtering McGonagall).  
  
The student was around fourteen or fifteen, and stood tall enough for their age. A bit thin and lanky, but that was easily made up for by the full chest, hips, and lips. Large, dark eyes framed by darker lashes showed that the student was still in shock.  
  
The student's hair was short, slightly spiked, and black, and their bangs usually fell in their eyes, but now were brushed effectively to the side. They trembled slightly.  
  
"Who did this to you?" the headmaster asked, voice strangely cold.  
  
"I..." the student swallowed, one dainty long fingered hand coming up to brush against a pale throat. They swallowed again, trying in vain to ignore the flutey soprano voice that was currently theirs. "Got hit.... From behind... didn't see who..." the student stopped, deciding that they highly disliked their rather annoying voice, and clenched their hands together, bowing their head and pressing their knuckled fist against their forehead.  
  
"Do you have any idea who may have done it?" the old man reached out and grasped the student's thin shoulder, pausing momentarily at how small and frail it seemed.  
  
The student shook their head. Eyes so dark a blue they were almost black flashed dangerously suddenly, and the lips barely parted to hiss, "Snape!"  
  
"Do you believe he may have done this?"  
  
The student nodded quickly, keeping their head and eyes down.  
  
There was a momentary silence.  
  
"Can... Can you please change me back now?" the student squeaked out finally, forcing themselves to look up at the old teacher. He gave the student a grave look.  
  
"I'm not sure. We'll have to go see."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Now. Minerva, are you coming?"  
  
The transfiguration teacher stood up sharply.  
  
"I THINK I'LL GO TALK TO Mr. Snape!" she roared/sputtered, and was out of the room in a matter of seconds.  
  
"Wait for me!" the seemingly female (ya think???) student cried, and started to run after her, but Dumbldore grasped her shoulder firmly, holding her back.  
  
"No, no, Mr. Black, we need to find a cure for you."  
  
The student stopped struggling, then looked down, defeated.  
  
"So I... I really am a..."  
  
"Temporarily. We'll get you back into your handsome masculine body in no time." 


	2. He Meets Somebody

A/N: yeah, whatever. I don't own. WEE! Five reviewers! Ah, I could die! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D I think this'll be SB/RL waddaya think??? ^____^ oy, and, erm, the rating may go up in later chapters. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THAT LAST COMMENT. You know? I'm gonna MORTIFY the WHOLE lot of ya! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!  
  
~  
  
They moved quickly, through mostly deserted passageways. Those children that did bear witness to them simply dismissed the sight of the headmaster dragging a girl along by her shoulder nonchalantly.  
  
They stopped at the hospital wing and Our Hero sat on an empty bed (head down, face in hands since "her" hair was rather... short) and waited while the two old people talked quietly in a secluded corner.  
  
Eventually, after Pomfrey had screamed her heart out then did a very nice imitation of McGonagall thus attracting the attention of every student present in the hospital wing, she hustled and bustled over to Sirius.  
  
There she made him stand up (after drawing the curtain around the three of them) and take off his robes, where she poked him and examined him in places a girl would smack anybody for. But Sirius, not considering this /his/ body, really was more interested in staring at the ceiling.  
  
Originally he would have been deathly interested in his feet, but should he look down he was afraid his eyes would come in contact with a few things he did NOT want to see, on him or off.  
  
Well, maybe off him. On a very cute girl.  
  
But circumstances had changed at the moment.  
  
"Can you change me back now?" he asked in his girl voice (ugh, it was SO annoying, YARGH!) once his robes were back on.  
  
"Afraid I can't," she said, sighing sadly. "Oh, this is illegal. It takes a very powerful spell, by a very skilled wizard. Perhaps our potions master has something that could help. But I doubt it. Headmaster, what was it you said before?"  
  
"Only the wizard who changed him in the first place can change him back," Dumbledore sighed wearily. "Come, Sirius, if you'd like to come check with the potions master with me?"  
  
Sirius got to his feet.  
  
"Erm, I /am/ going to be changed back before anybody recognizes me, right? I mean, chicks aren't supposed to score chicks. And I'm not about to go Happy-Boy."  
  
Dumbledore's reply was cut off by Madame Pomfrey's interjection.  
  
"Other will recognize you, I'm afraid. I wouldn't wish this on anybody, even you, Mr. Black. Perhaps you'd like to change your outer appearance...?"  
  
"Like, how?" Sirius raised a couple of eyebrows. "Can't you in the least make my voice less annoying? I'm beginning to have a very strange urge to strangle myself, just so that I won't have to listen to it."  
  
"Afraid not. Were you born a girl, I'd tell you that you have a very beautiful voice, but that would be inappropriate at this time, hmm?"  
  
"Come, come," Dumbledore said, leaving the safety privacy of the curtain. Sirius hurried after him.  
  
The old lady that was the potions master made one quick look-over of Sirius, then shook her head.  
  
"Sorry. Can't do anything, there isn't a potion that'll switch genders."  
  
They walked back out into the halls, feeling rather defeated.  
  
"So, yeah... I am going to be changed back before anybody recognizes me, right?"  
  
"I don't think you will be."  
  
Sirius' face fell. "But, but I can't, not in public, with a voice like this..."  
  
"There, there, Mr. Black. You'll be perfectly fine. If your friends are true friends, then they'll most likely be the ones that find the culprit and force him to change you back before I or any other teacher does."  
  
"Bu, but,"  
  
"There, calm down, now. You will be attending classes tomorrow, if you please. The embarrassment factor won't be bad, I think. I'll be doing everything in my power to find and punish he who did this to you."  
  
"Bu, but, but professor, I can't, I, but..."  
  
"Calm down, now. Ah, here we are." They stopped in front of the portrait hole, and Dumbledore gave the password. He offered an apologetic smile to the teenager still sputtering beside him before striding off. "Good luck," he murmured after nudging Sirius in.  
  
the portrait hole swung shut behind him, and Sirius covered his face in his hands as heads in the common room turned to see who had entered on this lovely Sunday evening. The noise level didn't really change, and once he was certain nobody was watching anymore, he dropped his arms and made a mad dash for the boys' dormitory stairs, successfully making it there without anyone seeing his face up close.  
  
He ran at top speed up the staircase until he came to his dormitory, which he hurtled inside of and turned around quickly, closing the door and locking it. He sighed in relief, resting his forehead against the now secure door and closing his eyes.  
  
Since it would be dinner soon, he didn't think anybody would be in there. But, oh, how Wrong our hero was.  
  
That is, he jumped about three feet and made a funny noise that sounded like a strangled shout crossed with a scream when a quiet voice said (quietly), "Sirius?" 


End file.
